Tom, I don’t want to write a sad post today. I don’t want to spend the day upset, and I certainly don’t want you to.
This morning grief hit me like a tidal wave, unexpected and all consuming I wailed at the sudden longing and emptiness that was dragging me under again. My heart physically aching, I buried my face into the pillow to drown out the sound of my own cries, a sound I can’t bear, disconnected and not of myself.
That’s what grief does, sneaks up on you when you least expect it, destroying the façade of normality you’ve been building back up, and forcing you to feel everything all over again.
I imagine it sounds a little strange describing a funeral as ‘beautiful’, but that’s exactly what Robyn’s funeral was…beautiful. Fate finally smiled upon on us, and the help that we received organising the funeral was amazing, but it could of turned out so very differently. Our inability as a society to talk about death, especially the death of a baby leaves us scared and floundering when we are suddenly faced with every parents worst nightmare…arranging your own baby’s funeral. Continue reading