Bilberry & Lemon Friands - Gluten Free

Bilberry & Lemon Friands – Gluten Free

What the hell is a friand? Yep, that’s exactly what I thought too, but after lots of experimenting with these little cakes, they’ve become a new favourite. French for ‘dainty‘, friands are also very popular in Australia too. They are generally made with ground almonds and icing sugar, and are light, sweet and very moreish!
There’s a lot of scope to play around with different flavours, and seeing as it’s my fave time of year, the bilberries are back! I also found it easy to make these gluten free, as there is very little flour in friand recipes anyway. You can whip a batch of these up in no time, and I think they’re a little more ‘grown-up’ than the boring cupcake.

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Cherry and Almond Pie

Cherry and Almond Pie

I keep putting photos up on instagram and facebook of all the food I’ve been cooking and baking recently (and there’s been LOTS), then promising to share the recipes. Well life always has a habit of getting in the way, and subsequently I have a very large backlog of¬†posts waiting for you. I’ve decided to entice you with a sweet treat first off. Cherries, almonds, pie…need I say more? ūüėČ

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The Third and Hopefully Final

The Third and Hopefully Final

They say bad things come in three’s, this means my trio of shit is complete! Cancer, stillbirth and now infertility.

As suspected I have started early menopause, so I can forget pregnancy with my own eggs. This is obviously a massive blow to my dreams of motherhood and our joint dream of becoming parents; BUT it means we can now start on a new path and see a different way of reaching our goal. I AM optimistic, I AM determined and I AM going to FIGHT for our future child!
The consultant I saw today was, for a change, direct and pragmatic, which is how I prefer it. I really don’t want anyone’s pity, I want to move forward and I want action, pity doesn’t achieve f*** all!

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A New Journey - Infertility

A New Journey – Infertility

When It’s Not ‘Fine’

“Oh everything will be fine, you’ll be fine, everything will work out fine…”

…FUCK OFF!

Sometimes, actually a lot of the time¬†it’s not fine! Not everything can be fixed, not everyone can be made better, life is¬†frequently and indiscriminately cruel.

I have a lot of tests, hospital visits, scans, etc to come, but based on the evidence so far…I have started menopause prematurely. The likelihood of having a child naturally, with my own eggs is now low to nonexistent.

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Happiness is Homemade

Happiness IS Homemade

Time lurches on and generally speaking things are well. I have a new job at a local cafe which I am really enjoying, summer is nearly here and me and Tom are good, a bit skint at the mo (new car was a must), but otherwise good. We both have our off days, and recently with the anniversary of Robyn’s death, we have both struggled with our grief, made all the¬†harder by¬†the fact there is still no baby on the way. This is something that occasionally makes me anxious and stressed, I panic that I’m not getting any younger and since losing Robyn my body, in particular my menstrual cycle is all over the place, how much this is due to me worrying I don’t know, but I know I can’t keep stressing, I have to push forward, I have to speak to doctors, look after myself, and most importantly I have to enjoy the here and now, and appreciate the day to day happiness I share with Tom.

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Robyn

Hold You Forever In The Middle Of Our Hearts

Robyn,
We can’t believe its been a year without you.
We think of you each and everyday.
We love you, and miss you as much, if not more, than the day you left.

But we’ll hold you forever, in the middle of our hearts.

Mum & Dad xXx